What the hell is happening? That's what I want to say, every minute of the day. But it's a lie, it's a trick my mind tries to play on my mouth, because I know exactly what is happening. I just don't want to accept it. It's too big, like the death of a child. Something that hits you that can never be prepared for. It's the death of the monolithic, mythic America.

It feels so good to have my hands on my laptop keyboard again. It's been a while. I've been trapped in the pinball stage of Life, where being able to deal with whatever is happening directly in front of me counts as a huge win but not for one moment have I been in control of where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's okay, I've got to the point where I'm old enough and I've been here enough times that I understand these times will come but then they will go.